Bringing It Home...

(sometime in 2008...just found the notes..)


We are having an early morning conversation about death, dying, passing....

Dennis says, "All that we've learned, all that we've become, is not for a future event, is not for a conference, or for a book -- but FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS - that in the moment we face separation, we would have the foundation under us that we have.

I remember a word that my Dad gave me -- TRUST GOD!

Dennis continues, "If we were evaporated TODAY, we still had a wonderful life -- that doesn't change with a cancer diagnosis. 10 years ago, God said to me, "You're not even promised the next breath.."

Melanie: Life seems so sweet, so dear, and I don't want to let go...

Dennis: There won't be a tug for this life -- you're going to see Jesus and go shooting off, like a bullet from a gun.

Melanie: WHAT IF I only had 3 hours? What would we do?

Dennis: Get dressed and go see Jet!

Melanie: What is "doing it well?"

Dennis: To get through it -- to not stop shedding/giving over to God those things that disagree with Him -- sadness, fear, trepidation, loss, doubt....so we can keep our eye on the prize. The cloud of witnesses sees us and cheers us on, because they know that regardless of what we're going through, here, Heaven is worth it! They KNOW the prize!

This was all within the context of a "that's NOT cancer" report. The context has changed -- it IS cancer, and I am flooded with feelings that I didn't expect. The whole thing is a surprise to me, from the diagnosis to my reaction. Dave would say, "What is THAT about?" and I wonder, too.

And, do I yet have a diagnosis? I have a "most probably..." The new report on Wednesday could surprise me, even more. Am I going through an exercise, a test, that will evaporate on Wednesday? Maybe...

Dennis: We will tell them that you need to be back on the mission field by late February.

Autumn joins in : THIS is what defines human existence -- thinking about death. You either do it, or you don't, and that defines you.