THE GAMMA KNIFE DAY = NEW CHALLENGE

THE GAMMA KNIFE DAY = NEW CHALLENGE

It is the day of the Gamma Knife Procedure/Neurosurgery. We are up at 4am, to get there in time to check in. Both Autumn and Monica are ready for the 5am lift-off – and I am so blessed that they want to accompany me, and be there. We all know that from the initial check-in, they will be isolated from me, in a waiting room – most likely until 5pm. But, they choose to be there, praying together, and being together with Dennis.

Having had the Gamma Knife Procedure two years ago, and having memories of an easy day, I am set – I do need the grit for it, and I know the Lord has given me that. I feel very straight-backed, as I check in. What I don’t know yet, but will, is that this is an entirely different day than expected.

The first IV needle, in the “one good vein” that has been used for everything medical in the past 11 years, brings blood spurting out of my arm. Blood is pooling in the crook of my arm, and spilling on the floor. Ironically, by the time this is cleaned up, the skin prick has already clotted! But, that spot can’t be used, so the needle is inserted in the back of my hand

I know that the IV sedation will come before the frame is screwed onto my head – I have only the slightest memory of the beginning of the frame attachment from 2 years ago – so I know I will experientially “slide away”, from this point until the finish of the entire day.

To my surprise, this medication has almost no effect on me. I am very alert and awake as the needles go in, and they burn and hurt. I am also very alert as the framework is screwed onto my head – I had no idea it would be so grueling! This is not an easy experience.

Many times during the day, I say very clearly, “I am much more alert than I want to be!” The nurse checks my chart and finds that they have administered the exact some dose of the exact same medication that they used before – apparently, that they always use. It is not helping me. “Your body has become immune to it….I don’t know why…” is mentioned by the nurse, but the doctors actually never address this. I love and respect them, anyway.

They had enjoyed my story of my having to jump through some new administrative hoops, for my insurance. I now need a “family practice doctor” to be a “gate-keeper” for me – to keep me from going to specialists unnecessarily. This turned out to be very difficult – the closest family practice “gatekeeper” willing to take a new patient is 55 miles and an hour drive from our home. Right in the midst of preparing for brain surgery, the insurance company insisted on this, and the clinic 55 miles from us had mercy, and agreed to see me.

(The doctor at this clinic was out for the week, but a very nice, very professional Nurse Practitioner saw me. In 20 minutes, she listened to the story, reviewed 25 pages of notes faxed to her from my oncologist, and promised to “OK” the gamma knife procedure. I told her, “My entire neurology team is waiting for your approval!” and she laughed and said, “Wow! I’ve gone from strep throat to brain surgery in one day!” I appreciated that she recognized the irony of the day. I also appreciated her willingness to step in and save the day.)

The actual procedure is not painful – it is high on the weird-o-meter, though. The frame feels heavy on my head, and my neck is never really supported as I lie on the GK table – there is a strain in my neck because of this. The good news is that they are equipped with “new material” – and the procedure will take a much shorter time. (We all have memories of hours of being there, waiting there, gamma material streaming into my head, previously.)

In the middle of the procedure, there is going to be a re-adjustment, to aim at the second tumor. I am allowed a break for the ladies’ room. When I come back in, supported by my nurse, one of the doctors refers to the table as “the couch.” What? I ask, “You call that ‘the couch’?”

They all nod and say, “Yes.” I get to say to them, “I am REALLY more alert than you guys!” and we all laugh. Laughing is good. As uncomfortable as I am, I know how grateful I am that this is going to work – that I have not needed “whole brain radiation” again, and that this is available to me. These machines are few and far between. And, I have huge trust in both my doctor and in God’s presence with us. (I have checked --- the new doctor there is a believer, too. The nurse is wearing a card attached to her ID card, which hangs around her neck. This card has a prayer printed on it. I am in good hands!)

MUCH earlier than we had expected, the procedure is over. The head-frame will be removed – the spots where the needles went in, and the screws were, are tended to, and Dennis is allowed to come in and help me dress. THE WONDER OF OUT-PATIENT BRAIN SURGERY HITS US AGAIN – WE ARE SO GRATEFUL THAT I GET TO GO HOME ON THE SAME DAY!

In the wind-up towards leaving, I talk to my Neurologist (best in the world) about insomnia. I have already tried a prescription drug, that hasn’t helped me. He will write a prescription for a stronger one, and says, laughing, “Perhaps I should go through your Nurse Practitioner, though…” We all laugh. I find that bureaucracy brings about a lot of laughter – it is just always important not to be laughing in front of the bureaucratic rule-imposer (!). (Do I have to repent for that? I recognize that insurance companies all have to fight both fraud and unnecessary expenses….but…)

After all of this, here is what is important ---I am home. I am alive. Those tumors have been hit hard, and will not survive! I will be able to be with Autumn, on her birthday, tomorrow! I am grateful to God for so MANY things.

I look forward to what He and Dennis and I have ahead of us, and THANK HIM, again and continuously!

GOOD IS GOOD!! LIFE IS GOOD!!

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS!!

PS. The insurance company would not approve my neurologist’s choice of sleeping pill, so the pharmacy cannot fill it until they have “more information,” and that is why – at 2:30am, I am able to write this. AIN’T LIFE GRAND!!?