My Own Bed.......The Thrill is NOT gone!

Last month, I was in an Emergency Room being told by three neurologists that I needed emergency brain surgery. I listened to their consensus and then asked, “Are you sure that I can’t go home and get into my own bed? I would really like that...”

Their response was “Here’s the problem. If you go home and get into your own bed.....chances are GREAT that you will never wake up....”

I remember saying, “Thank you for clarifying!”

The emergency brain surgery was the next day. My family and friends were on-hand. It was an amazingly weird experience – brain surgery AND the Neuro-ICU ward. In the end, I got to go home two days after surgery.

My continuing story is this --- I have now slept in my own bed 21 nights, and I have awakened 21+ times!! I celebrate EACH and EVERY time that I wake up!! Who knew what a wonder that is!?! I am so excited, to wake up!! The thrill is not wearing off...

The other morning, I awoke knowing that I needed the toilet. This is BIG! It means that the internal messages are being sent, AND being received. I celebrated the trip to the toilet! On the way back, I was returning to my own bed, in my own room, in my own house.....and upon making it to the bed, I reached over and felt my husband – ALSO STILL ALIVE!!

That topped it --- I spent 2 hours completely absorbed in JOY and GRATITUDE!!! Thank You, Thank You, God!!!! I had a great party, celebrating!! WHAT a way to start a day!!

I am hoping never to lose that wonder! Life is made up of things we no longer recognize as being wonderful --- I don’t want to let any of it go by! I don’t want to miss any of it! We are surrounded by wonders, and they are worthy of looking for, recognizing and celebrating!!

Prayer Letters From Dennis

Dennis sends out prayer letters about once a week which were posted on this blog. We have now moved them to their own blog, which is called Living with Hope and Cancer Prayer Letters . Please pop over for new updates on the Fight!
As always, with HOPE!
Autumn Kreson

A good victory!

Dear partners in battle and celebration:
Melanie is doing absolutely fantastic after her surgery yesterday. The procedure took a little over three hours, and the surgeons were able to do all of the things they were hoping to do. The Third Ventriculostomy went well, and they were able to get the biopsy that was needed. At the end, the tumor started bleeding from the biopsy but they irrigated and irrigated and waited and it did stop. To ensure everything had been successful, they did left a drain in Melanie’s head to gauge the spinal fluid being produced and watch for bleeding or anything like that. The drain was removed this morning after the doctor showed them that the level of spinal fluid was normal and flowing properly. YEA GOD! Melanie is spending all of today resting and healing, and we are told she will be released tomorrow morning.
The family spent most of the day waiting in the ICU waiting room rather than the surgery waiting room as it was more private. Waiting in a hospital can be weary and horrible, but we had a good day all together, staying FULL of HOPE. I admit that I was at peace all day, but at the very end, as the surgeon came out to talk to Dennis I thought, "Oh. Man. My mom just had BRAIN SURGERY." And my mind started racing with all of the text book things I know about your brain and how things could go wrong. Then Dennis came around the corner and put his fist in the air and said, "YESSS!" Here is what I know...MY GOD IS BIGGER! Bigger than brain surgery and bigger than fear, and certainly bigger than fear about a brain surgery. As we also say around here, "To HELL with Fear." I mean this in a most literal sense. To HELL...with FEAR. Fear comes from hell, and I want no part of it.
After the surgery, Melanie was in the recovery room for a little while. She had some nausea and a little vomiting, so the nurses wanted to make sure that she was cleaned up and feeling better before they let us in. When we did get to see her, you would not believe how stinking hilarious she was. The first thing she wanted was for us all to sing, "How great is our God" over her. She was speaking in half sentences, but making jokes. I asked her this morning if she remembered it and she doesn’t remember a thing, which to me is all the more funny.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for standing with us in HOPE and HEALING yesterday. We could all feel the power of your prayers. Everything about yesterday was covered in peace, and as Melanie went into surgery she was saying, "I am looking forward to feeling better tomorrow. I can’t wait until my headache is gone." Years ago, people used to ask me, "What makes you so special? How come you get to see angels and I don’t?" I would tell these people that there wasn’t anything special about me. I was just a girl. God wanted me to have a gift to help me in my life, and I chose to accept it. And I chose to tell other people about it, hoping that I could help them, too. So, what makes this family different? How can we find hope and even laughter in the middle of cancer and brain surgery? Listen, I am just a girl. Dennis and Melanie are just a husband and wife. Monica and Tegan and Jake...we are all people. We are in the middle of a tough situation and I can hear God asking, "Where are you going to land? How are you going to deal with this? How are you going to reflect Me to the world through this?" Hope is what we have. I want Melanie to meet my children and watch them grow. So I do not embrace death or fear or hopelessness. These things are from hell. All I have is hope.
Filled with hope for tomorrow and the next day,
Autumn Kreson

An update and request for prayer from Autumn.

This is Autumn, Melanie’s daughter, and I write to you tonight to give you an update on everything that happened today and also to ask for your prayers. We need them now, for sure.
For a couple of weeks, Melanie has experienced some double vision, minor headaches accompanied by nausea, and a constant sound as if someone on a riding mower is circling her. Yesterday and this morning, she experienced severe headaches with much nausea, including vomiting. She was in bed all of yesterday as far as I know. This morning she was feeling better, but as the morning went on, she was hit with another severe headache that had her moaning. Melanie called the office of her neuro-surgeon to report her symptoms. She called again when the headache was at its worst. The office called me back a few minutes later to see if she was any better, and when I told them my report, they said that a nurse or the surgeon was going to be calling us back. The surgeon did call back and I talked to him, answering all of his questions, at which point he asked me to take her to the emergency room down in Indianapolis (an hour away) so that he could check on her. I did take her down to Indianapolis, where she saw several very nice doctors.
So, here is what we know. Melanie has Hydrocephalus, which means that there is pressure in her head from spinal fluid that is having a hard time circulating due to the positing of the tumor in her brain. The team of neuro surgeons have decided to do what I believe is called a Third Ventriculostomy. This procedure will entail putting a small hole in the third ventricle in her brain to allow another way for the spinal fluid that is produced there to move to the outer part of the brain and then down into the spinal column. While they are in there, the surgeons are hoping to be able to do a biopsy of the tumor. The surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning late morning, early afternoon. However, because she is an add on to the schedule, it is possible it could be as early as 9 a.m. As of right now, Melanie has been checked into the ICU for the night, and will remain in hospital until Friday at the least.
I know this letter seems very serious, and the doctors looked very serious, however they were very glad to have her checked into the hospital while she is still doing well. Melanie is tired, still has a headache, is headed toward brain surgery, but otherwise well and thinking about everyone on this list, and how desperately she needs to feel all of your prayers tomorrow as she heads into surgery.
As we tell each other every single day, "Fear, go away." Fear not, friends, for this will end well one way or another. We are not afraid but filled with hope. Hope for healing and hope for easy surgeries and hope for speedy recoveries and hope for all of the people we will meet on this strange journey who have none for themselves. Send your hope and your faith and your prayers of passion to Indiana right now. We need them, and thank you for them.
Full of HOPE,
Autumn Kreson