The GAMMA KNIFE Day

Meeting the GAMMA KNIFE

From the beginning, the Gamma Knife had been suggested as a good treatment option regarding the brain tumor. There is only one Gamma Knife in the state of Indiana, and it is in Indianapolis, where my neurosurgeon practices.

A real wonder – it works by shooting Gamma rays at a target, destroying the targeted tumor. The ‘up’ side is huge – it replaces the cutting through of the skull and digging through the brain (not a medical term, I’m guessing…) that it would take to remove the tumor. I was also told that this tumor really could NOT be cut out – it had a rich blood source and would have bled too much into my brain.

With the Gamma Knife, there would not be blood, or cutting – just a slow death to the tumor, which would be hit hard, remain intact, and over a period of months, shrink and become absorbed by my body. The procedure would take one day, and I would be home that evening. These things sounded GOOD.

The “down” side was the list of “possible side-effects” (which included things like paralysis and loss of speech), and that it required having a metal framework screwed into my skull. The doctor who described this said, “It’s uncomfortable…”

I asked, “Do you mean ‘uncomfortable,” as in, people complain? Or, “uncomfortable,” as in, people cry?”

Without a second thought, he said, “Kids cry…men complain…woman don’t say a word…”

That was reassuring to me – at least no one was screaming.

It didn’t stop me wondering whether I could hold up the “women don’t say a word” part. I looked for someone else who’d had it, and couldn’t find anyone to talk with. The “Gamma Knife day” remained on my horizon, and played around my thoughts.

I engaged in a different prayer direction, begging God to remove the tumor before the Gamma Knife day. I knew there would be another MRI before the procedure, and as I prayed, I was ready for the doctor to come and say, “WOW!! It’s GONE!!” I had a wonderful testimony of Jesus, all prepared for the moment.

HOWEVER… the tumor was NOT gone, the framework WAS screwed to my head, and the beams were fired into my brain. I came out VERY GRATEFUL to God --- grateful for how smoothly the whole thing went, and for how easy He made it.I am being credited with way too much “bravery” these days --- I didn’t walk in there, on Gamma Knife Day with bravery – all I had was faith that Jesus would be with me, as He had been at every other test/surgery. He makes all the difference.

I am also VERY GRATEFUL that He let me go through that day, and the Gamma Knife procedure --- had He taken the tumor, that procedure would STILL be out in front of me as a possibility, and as a growing fear.

Had God removed that challenge, I would NOT KNOW that He could make the Gamma Knife day an EASY day – one filled with His presence and His protection. I am so glad to know that. It builds my knowledge of WHO He is, and how fully He has overcome.

Jesus came to give us “fullness of life.” “Fullness” doesn’t mean that we won’t have brain surgery. It means that if we have to have brain surgery, He will be there, with us, as He was, with me.

HALLELUJAH!