Asking for MORE
The scans show that I have a cancerous mass in my chest, under my sternum. I also have cancer in the sternum, and cancer that has invaded the lymph nodes of my neck, right side. A scan of my neck accidentally angled upwards and found a tumor in my brain. “By happenstance...” the medical person said. I don’t believe that – I believe that God wanted it revealed. We have often prayed that He would reveal hidden things, and He’s done it, over and over.
Looking at the scans and conferring, none of the doctors think it is cancer. That’s good news, and worthy of celebration, which we had. Seriously....that’s good news!
It is still a problem and must be considered. The neurosurgeon’s exam leads him to say that is not, yet, creating a problem with my quality of life and the risk of anything he would do messing with that is not worth it. He prefers that I have another brain scan in 6 weeks, for comparison, to show him at what rate it is growing.
That means I have 6 weeks to pray that tumor down, and out! That is REALLY good news!
6 weeks to spend, seeking God! 6 weeks to focus on prayer – hopeful, grateful prayer! Life should have more of these opportunities! I’m sorry that I didn’t stop for 6 weeks, without a brain tumor, to concentrate on connecting with the One who created me and knows all. It is such an experience – to know that my life is in His hands, entirely – and to talk to Him about it.
(My life has actually always been in His hands, entirely.....yours is, too. We lose track of that, sometime soon after birth...).
He is reassuring, and good, faithful and true. When He speaks, I have no fear. I have peace. His promises are true. Dennis and I have been preaching, for a long time, that our hope is not in staying alive forever – our hope is in eternity with Jesus. That remains true for me, regardless of circumstance. I find, however, that as happily as I look forward to eternity, I am not ready just yet! I have some more to do.
I am asking for MORE! More years, more work, more time, more life. I find that just the exercise of asking for it, joyfully, gets me in touch with the wonders of today! I don’t have to miss today, in busyness. Today has surprises and spontaneous outbursts – it has family and friends and strangers and God – equal parts mystery and fun.
Anything might happen! I might know how to deal with it, and I might not. Either way, I will be holding onto His hand – and that’s a really safe and good place to be.
Looking at the scans and conferring, none of the doctors think it is cancer. That’s good news, and worthy of celebration, which we had. Seriously....that’s good news!
It is still a problem and must be considered. The neurosurgeon’s exam leads him to say that is not, yet, creating a problem with my quality of life and the risk of anything he would do messing with that is not worth it. He prefers that I have another brain scan in 6 weeks, for comparison, to show him at what rate it is growing.
That means I have 6 weeks to pray that tumor down, and out! That is REALLY good news!
6 weeks to spend, seeking God! 6 weeks to focus on prayer – hopeful, grateful prayer! Life should have more of these opportunities! I’m sorry that I didn’t stop for 6 weeks, without a brain tumor, to concentrate on connecting with the One who created me and knows all. It is such an experience – to know that my life is in His hands, entirely – and to talk to Him about it.
(My life has actually always been in His hands, entirely.....yours is, too. We lose track of that, sometime soon after birth...).
He is reassuring, and good, faithful and true. When He speaks, I have no fear. I have peace. His promises are true. Dennis and I have been preaching, for a long time, that our hope is not in staying alive forever – our hope is in eternity with Jesus. That remains true for me, regardless of circumstance. I find, however, that as happily as I look forward to eternity, I am not ready just yet! I have some more to do.
I am asking for MORE! More years, more work, more time, more life. I find that just the exercise of asking for it, joyfully, gets me in touch with the wonders of today! I don’t have to miss today, in busyness. Today has surprises and spontaneous outbursts – it has family and friends and strangers and God – equal parts mystery and fun.
Anything might happen! I might know how to deal with it, and I might not. Either way, I will be holding onto His hand – and that’s a really safe and good place to be.
posted by Living with Hope and Cancer @ 12/12/2005 02:38:00 am
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