As if I am going to live...
Lots of people don’t know what to say to me. That’s ok. I remember being at a loss for words, wondering what to say to someone who has cancer. It’s easier to know, from this side, from inside the body that is fighting.
Can I help you?
I chose my oncologist because of something she said in our first meeting. “I am going to treat you as if you are going to live. Everything I do will be based on the belief that you are going to live...until you tell me you’ve had enough – and then, we will call in your family and begin to celebrate your life.” That is a win-win proposition. There is no loss in there – no misstep.
That is how I would like people to respond to me – as if I am going to live. I believe that I am going to live, and therefore, real life is still interesting to me. What is going on in your life is still interesting to me .
In order to still be here, I have to fight cancer, and a brain tumor. Fighting is now my job – full time. My weapons are prayer, meditation, rest, medication, nutrition, family and friends and faith. That is my main focus. There are days when that is all I can handle, and I have nothing left with which to reach out. But, other days, I am here, feeling well and hoping to be a part of the world that I love.
My family and I live in hope. We learned to trust God, and to expect the unexpected, and we believe in healing miracles. We’ve seen lots and lots of them, all around us. Why wouldn’t we expect one, now? Following what we learned through my last cancer battle (which, honestly, we thought would be the last one....) we step forward, each day, following a battle plan that consists of an indivisible approach of praying through each medical step.
Our greatest enemy is fear, not cancer. Cancer is so limited. It can attack my body. Fear, however, can attack my mind, heart and spirit. It can twist my thinking in any direction it desires – it can block my hearing and pervert all news, good or bad – it can keep me from hearing God. It is what keeps people from knowing what to say to me.
This is not a nightmare. It is my life. The choice I have – every day – is whether I will appreciate and enjoy it. There are wonders that surround us. I choose to look for them, and thrill at them. I choose to enjoy each moment I have with my family and friends, and this amazing thing called “life.” What would be the point of being miserable about its brevity, if I am not appreciating it, now?
Can I help you?
I chose my oncologist because of something she said in our first meeting. “I am going to treat you as if you are going to live. Everything I do will be based on the belief that you are going to live...until you tell me you’ve had enough – and then, we will call in your family and begin to celebrate your life.” That is a win-win proposition. There is no loss in there – no misstep.
That is how I would like people to respond to me – as if I am going to live. I believe that I am going to live, and therefore, real life is still interesting to me. What is going on in your life is still interesting to me .
In order to still be here, I have to fight cancer, and a brain tumor. Fighting is now my job – full time. My weapons are prayer, meditation, rest, medication, nutrition, family and friends and faith. That is my main focus. There are days when that is all I can handle, and I have nothing left with which to reach out. But, other days, I am here, feeling well and hoping to be a part of the world that I love.
My family and I live in hope. We learned to trust God, and to expect the unexpected, and we believe in healing miracles. We’ve seen lots and lots of them, all around us. Why wouldn’t we expect one, now? Following what we learned through my last cancer battle (which, honestly, we thought would be the last one....) we step forward, each day, following a battle plan that consists of an indivisible approach of praying through each medical step.
Our greatest enemy is fear, not cancer. Cancer is so limited. It can attack my body. Fear, however, can attack my mind, heart and spirit. It can twist my thinking in any direction it desires – it can block my hearing and pervert all news, good or bad – it can keep me from hearing God. It is what keeps people from knowing what to say to me.
This is not a nightmare. It is my life. The choice I have – every day – is whether I will appreciate and enjoy it. There are wonders that surround us. I choose to look for them, and thrill at them. I choose to enjoy each moment I have with my family and friends, and this amazing thing called “life.” What would be the point of being miserable about its brevity, if I am not appreciating it, now?
posted by Living with Hope and Cancer @ 12/09/2005 12:33:00 am
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